A Mindfulness Approach to Parenting ADHD Children

A Mindfulness Parenting Approach for ADHD

First, let’s debunk the idea that mindfulness is only about sitting on the floor meditating with our legs crossed and fingers touching our knees. This form of meditation can be described as mindfulness meditation, but mindfulness does not have to involve meditation. Mindfulness is the act of being aware of yourself, your surroundings, and the current moment. It allows you to step outside of life’s constant demands and the unconscious chatter in your heads that often drives your behaviors, decisions, and assumptions. Mindfulness enables us to be present in the moment, whether it's with ourselves or with our children.

Mindful parenting is an approach that emphasizes being aware of yourself as a person and as a parent equally. By paying intentional attention, you gain the ability to understand instead of assuming and to respond rather than react. This can reduce overall stress and help you better understand the triggers of stress in your interactions with your child.

One key aspect of mindful parenting for a child with ADHD is understanding your child's ADHD and seeing their behavior through their perspective, rather than through your own assumptions, irritability, frustration, stress, or annoyance. It's about changing your perspective and meeting your child where they are, not where you are.

What does this look like in day-to-day activities? For example, a child who impulsively grabs something from the shelf while at the store may not realize that they didn't think about whether they were supposed to grab that item or not. A parent, being mindful with their ADHD lens on, would notice that the child engaged in that behavior due to impulsivity rather than defiance or trying to be sneaky. This allows the parent to stop and think about their response while understanding the child's behavior first. The parent can then express to the child what they think may have happened. This allows the parent to act as the child's frontal lobe and bring self-awareness to their actions while teaching what to do next time.

A parent might say, "You saw that toy on the shelf, liked it, and grabbed it. You probably did not get a chance to think if you are allowed to grab or ask me if you could grab, but you really wanted it."

The parent can also have the child go back to where they got the toy and engage in a more responsible, less impulsive behavior, and reduce consequences by teaching them what could be helpful. Help them verbalize what they wanted or needed in that moment. Focus on teaching in this moment instead of consequences.

Later, you can share the consequences with them to help them understand that their choices, whether intentional or accidental, have consequences. Remember, most of the time, they need your help in these situations to understand their behavior because they often have difficulty understanding or expressing their thoughts and desires verbally to you. Take your first step today by putting on your ADHD glasses!

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